As I walked J out, she told me there were 9 people in her house. I smiled. I touched her arm....I told her to come back tomorrow when the office was open for a grocery voucher. I felt self conscious with her in her pjs and me with my new shirt. I should have left my sweatpants on instead of squeezing into uncomfy clothes at 5:15 so I could look more like "the preacher's wife." I wanted to pray with her. I wanted to share with her the One who has given me a new legacy to leave my children, who has restored my marriage, and who has literally set me free from darkness. I wanted her to know she matters and is loved, but I was suddenly aware that she didn't want me to love her. She didn't want Jesus from me. She just wanted food. She had hungry kids or maybe not, but she was desperate enough to walk into a place full of people she didn't know, who might judge her, to possibly face rejection and ask for food.
Sometimes we don't know what to do, or what God would want. Had I pushed Jesus on J, she probably would have never come back. Did I miss the opportunity to share with her? Was the food, the smile, and the incredibly loud joyful buzz of 150 kids enough to show her Jesus? I think it was enough. She didn't ask for God. She wasn't looking for Jesus... BUT she knew whose house to go to when she was hungry...and HE is ready to show himself even to those who aren't looking.
In Isaiah 65 God says, "I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me."
How can God use you to show himself to others? I didn't do anything for J but stop and smile. I can't even claim credit for giving her a bag of food, but God can use you if you're willing. Open your eyes and be ready!
