I think of you...

With every drop of clean water,

I think of you.

With every dish I wash,

I think of you.

With every drop of medicine,

I think of you.

With every cry of my little ones, with every smile,

I think if you.

With every game we play,

I think of you.

Every time I lay my head down on my pillow,

I think of you.

I came home from Nicaragua thinking "God, how could you leave my friends, your people, in that place and put me in this place? They love You so easily, and I doubt You every time I don't get my way." I have finally decided that I don't have to know what God is doing, but I know who He is. Psalm 116 says He is gracious and righteous and full of compassion. I felt like I loved these people so much after only a week. How much more does our Heavenly Father love them? He has known them since the beginning of time. I know he is faithful to care for ALL His people and somehow they know it too.

Princess Maria

I recently went on a short term mission trip to Nicaragua

with 11 people from our church that was led by Go International. I thought I would be writing endless posts about our adventures. Instead, I find that my heart has been so deeply affected by these people and our God that I can't find the words. For today I leave you with this. Look into the beautiful eyes of Maria. Imagine them full of tears and pain as she explains to me that she can't go to school while she writes her name in my notebook in the most beautiful cursive. She can't go because she doesn't have a uniform. She doesn't have 1 white shirt and 1 blue skirt folks. That's all that is keeping her from learning, from making a better future for herself and her country. 1 shirt and 1 skirt is all that stands between hunger and food, a tin shack and a home, and shoes and bare feet for Maria. How can God use you to help her and others like this precious child of the king?

I have a dirty little secret...

Actually it's a big dirty secret. Are you ready?

Add in two more loads to fold and 6 more to wash! And...I washed a goodnight this evening...

FANTABULOUS...sigh. Now my washer smells like pee and is full of salt waiting for the delay sanitary wash about 5 am. Did I mention I have 6 more loads to wash?

A friend stopped by today and I think we just stared at each other and wallowed in our exhaustion. We are in the same place - 4 kids that are relatively the same age. Why one of us didn't take the kids and let the other take a 5 minute nap I'm not sure. Maybe it's because we were afraid one baby or the other would cry. Anyway, overwhelmed would be an understatement at this point. 

So instead of crying, which I could easily do, I am going to choose JOY. (That might have been something Joyce Meyers said. I honestly can't remember so I hope she doesn't sue.) I am going to choose joy because my children have clothes, because I have a washing machine, and because I am able to stay home and TRY to wash them. I am going to choose joy because my child is healthy enough to pee in a goodnight and...put...it...in...the...laundry basket. I am going to choose joy because even if none if these things were true for me that God is still good, that He is still God, and I know somehow He is using even this huge pile of laundry to work through me.