Jesus in the Toilet?

Before heading on my first mission trip, I received a friend request on Facebook from a man that I was a little leery of becoming friends with. He had a Spanish name and lived in another country. I noticed we had mutual friends and then realized he was a pastor who helps lead the mission teams and now I know pretty much does it all in Nicaragua. 

Pastor Carlos posted some pictures that didn't make much sense to me. There was a toilet (concrete hole) and every person in this community, I mean every person had their picture made with it...the one toilet.  I didn't understand why until I stood in that place, until I realized there was no where to "go," until while playing with some kids I stepped in a little ditch with murky blue water running through it, until I went to the kitchen sink that didn't drain to get a bucket of water to fill up the back of a broken toilet behind a blanket at a restaurant. It was windy that day...and like all the restaurants it was outside...enough said. 

Now, I look at that latrine and I know why they had their picture made with it. Because now the little ones don't have to go into the field at night and people have their dignity. Now their well water will be cleaner and their babies won't be so sick and they can breathe a little easier. 

I look at these people who rejoice that God provides and I almost feel ashamed because I have 3 toilets in 1 house. The entire village could live with us...really.

I feel angry and ask why does God give to some and not others? 

And I remember His love. I don't know who built that latrine...maybe a missionary team maybe Carlos' brother Thomas. God's love is right there in that latrine. He could've just opened the heavens and poured out money, but instead someone sweated and toiled and sacrificed and built a toilet. The people of Brisas saw them working day in and out, saw that someone cares, saw that the Father cares for His children. 

As Christmas approaches, I realize that God could have just saved me, opened up the heavens and said "Hey, you're forgiven." He cares too much for that. He came to earth, to breathe the same air I do, to feel the pain I feel, to eat the same foods, and to probably even use the bathroom in the bush. He bore my sin, carried my mess, and suffered for it, I mean really suffered...because He loves ME and YOU. How much mercy this precious little babe would bring! 

Lady J

As I hurried to grab yet another pan of tacos for the 4th graders on Wednesday, I noticed a lady just standing near the kitchen.  We will call her "J". I assumed J was one of our kids' moms. Often they get on the bus when no one is home and occasionally someone notices and needs them for something. I smiled as I hurried by and on my way out asked J if she needed help. J said she needed groceries. There were like 500 lbs of tacos right in front her. I invited her to eat with us but J declined. I suddenly I realized I left a poor man with 22 ravenous 10 year olds and no tacos. I promised to hurry back. By the time I came down, someone had given J a pre-made bag from the food pantry. 

As I walked J out, she told me there were 9 people in her house. I smiled. I touched her arm....I told her to come back tomorrow when the office was open for a grocery voucher. I felt self conscious with her in her pjs and me with my new shirt. I should have left my sweatpants on instead of squeezing into uncomfy clothes at 5:15 so I could look more like "the preacher's wife." I wanted to pray with her. I wanted to share with her the One who has given me a new legacy to leave my children, who has restored my marriage, and who has literally set me free from darkness. I wanted her to know she matters and is loved,  but I was suddenly aware that she didn't want me to love her. She didn't want Jesus from me. She just wanted food. She had hungry kids or maybe not, but she was desperate enough to walk into a place full of people she didn't know, who might judge her, to possibly face rejection and ask for food. 

Sometimes we don't know what to do, or what God would want. Had I pushed Jesus on J, she probably would have never come back. Did I miss the opportunity to share with her? Was the food, the smile, and the incredibly loud joyful buzz of 150 kids enough to show her Jesus? I think it was enough. She didn't ask for God. She wasn't looking for Jesus... BUT she knew whose house to go to when she was hungry...and HE is ready to show himself even to those who aren't looking.

 

In Isaiah 65 God says, "I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me;  I was found by those who did not seek me."

How can God use you to show himself to others? I didn't do anything for J but stop and smile. I can't even claim credit for giving her a bag of food, but God can use you if you're willing. Open your eyes and be ready!

Harvest in Peru

SO...I haven't been blogging since...forever. Life has just been more important. Our house has been filled with children, we've added a college student to our family, and we have been doing some international missions with our church. It's crazy but blessed!!!!

So far, my heart has been in Nicaragua and TJ's heart in Peru. We are a house divided, not by football allegiance, but by which country has pressed into our hearts! You should hear the banter in broken Spanish or mostly English on my end, haha! Then TJ mentioned a trip to Peru that had maybe only 1 young woman on the team. In Latin American culture, it isn't appropriate for a man to lay his hands on the women to pray for them and honestly it would be a little strange to see a group of all men trying to put on a VBS, even though they always help and play with the kids. I considered it and...We prayed and prayed and we have babysitters for that week!
 
Even though my heart is breaking that I can't afford to see these precious faces this winter and go to Peru we are heading to Chachapoyas, Peru January 2nd.

We have heard that the village we are visiting has only just now heard the gospel. Seriously! Never. Heard. About. Jesus. A man walked 10 miles to hear the gospel preached and brought the message back to his village. We have been told the harvest is ripe! I think we will also be visiting "Wilma's school" that TJ helped a mission team from Dayton counsel at last May. We will possibly be doing a construction project, medical outreach, VBS, eyeglasses outreach and will be speaking at churches in the evenings. I am learning that with missions we really can't plan for the next day or even hour. We have to be flexible and just love on the people who are in front of us that very moment.

We need your help...
PRAY- Pray that God would have the hearts of the people we meet softened and ready to accept the love we offer in the name of Christ.
SUPPLIES- We need everything but I'm sure we can only take very little since we will have an in country flight. Craft supplies, streamers, glue, crayons, coloring books, tinsel, inflatable balls, jump ropes, frisbees, gum, shoes, old eyeglasses...etc. Anything that is light and can show love!
SUPPORT- Travel is very expensive to get to from Tennessee to the village in the Andes Mountains. If God moves your heart in this way, you can send a check to:
First Church PO Box 12 Dayton, TN 37321
and make sure to put Burdine Missions on the memo line.

Also, I would be more than honored to come share what God is doing in our lives and the lives of our new friends at your women's group!

I plan to share more on this blog of our past missions and I hope the people who we love so much will minister to you as well.

"I tell you open your eyes and look at your the fields! They are ripe for harvest." Luke 4:35

"Jesus Hippie"

I don't have any excuses for ignoring this blog except I've had more important things to do. Period.

In the last year, we've moved, TJ started a new job, we've  been incredibly sick, had an enormous amount of children in and out of our house, and begun doing missions with our new church. Life is busy and I'm a complainer. I'm tired. TJ's tired but we've been called to raise our brood plus a few and to ministry.

When TJ and I went to tour the campus of Asbury Theological Seminary several years ago, we met with an admissions counselor, obviously. I thought he was the craziest person I had ever met. We quickly dubbed him the "Jesus Hippie." We also quickly learned the famous was full of them!  When he got married he told his wife to quit her job "because marriage is hard enough. She can stare at the ceiling all day for all I care. Maybe she'll learn to paint or sew." Then he proceeded to tell us how they sold everything they had and moved to seminary with...nothing...no money...no place to live...no food. They lived in their van because God called. Seriously? Who does that?!? The cafeteria workers fed them. They got jobs at the school and eventually got an apartment. He put his wife through seminary...and then let her stay home with their children! They were expecting their 4th child while he was attending seminary. "It's all good. Our 2 bedroom apartment is bigger than the 3 bedrooms on campus." Yep, 2 bedrooms. I feel like we fill up our 4 bedroom house pretty easily. He said checks just come in the mail when they needed something. I remember asking, "Who just sends you money in the mail?"

This man's attitude has perplexed me for years even after our every need has been provided for ...even after I have been able to stay home with our four children...and learn to paint and sew...even after checks have come in the mail or cash or gift cards put in our hands or food delivered. Every time I'm shocked at how God provides. I'm sitting on the balcony of a condo at the beach that was gifted to us...worrying about tomorrow. Not because we really have a need but because I forget to look over the years, to see the big picture, to see how God has provided, to trust that He's got it already. 

God is good, life is hard. Let's not grow weary. Let's run looking into the distance even in the midst of life, and dirty diapers, and kids who are hungry/dirty/abused, and children peering into our window while we change clothes because "I would really like it if I could just come inside." Let's run toward the goal He's given us not just toward tomorrow.

Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:26, 27 NIV)

Day of the Devil Mama

I have all these neat things I want to blog about, but today...oh my...today. Something happened this morning between my shower and burning my eggs. I'm not sure what it was, but it was like Satan was attacking me from all sides. Maybe it's that in 3 days I'm going to speak to a girls' Bible class about the pain of "not waiting" and I don't have a clue what I'm going to say. Maybe it's that the only girl in the class that I know told everyone how "awesome" I am...NO PRESSURE. 

Here is a rundown of the morning. I'll save you the complaining and just make a list.

Burnt eggs.

Kyle screaming the entire time I attempted to make a Lost Dog poster for our corgi...sniffle.

Spilled entire bag if makeup in the car. 

Couldn't find mascara or eyeliner. (Those are the most important next to foundation you know.)

Late for library story time.

Kyle knocked my coffee out of my hand at the front door of the library.

Shaving cream craft (enough said.)

Both animal shelters were unstaffed and locked.

Kids screaming in the car over Captain Crunch.

Driving around an apartment complex looking for the dog only to have the police chief call and ask why I am being so suspicious...he was joking...sort of.

I may have yelled...screamed...texted my husband to whine...laid on the couch... and drug myself to church. By this time I was turning around some. When we got home, Cole told me his Bible verse when  I wasn't really listening and then...then he said, "Mama can I start leading a Bible study for our family every Saturday night? Come on Carter lets go have Bible study right now!"

As the guilt of my wretchedness creeps in, I remember something I wrote a couple of years ago. "God knew I would be the best person to love, raise, and teach these precious babies even at my worst." God is using me despite myself. I'm not taking credit for Cole wanting to start a Bible study. That credit belongs to the amazing people at WNL. God is still at work in our family and in the hearts of these precious babies despite me, my attitude, and my selfishness. 

I'm thankful he has already paid my for my sins today and the guilt is gone. Let go of your guilt and realize that we can never be good mothers, sisters, friends, employees without HIM. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18

There is nothing good in me but HIM.